Boardroom coup with a devil-shaped paper trail.
Patch Notes (Faerûn Edition)
- Childhood DLC: sold off → devil-adjacent internship → came back with management experience.
- Parents: patched with tadpoles; now “supportive.” Disturbing, yes. Efficient, also yes.
- Deliverables: Steel Watch, city-wide mind Wi-Fi, polite threats on letterhead.
House style
- Politeness as blade; NDAs as love letters.
- Respects competence the way other people respect deities.
- Smiles like he’s already scheduled your downfall for Thursday.
The Dark Urge
Pop-up ads for murder. Close tab? Your call.
What matters
- Amnesiac origin: the knife came first, the conscience arrived later out of spite.
- Choices are the point: you can always speedrun character development while covered in evidence.
- Understands strategy. Accidentally collects people.
Workarounds
- Resist the urges: unlocks “conscience,” “camp awkwardness,” and “Withers is proud of you (probably).”
- Lean in: unlocks “drama,” “excellent cloak,” and “oops, a legacy.”
Astarion
Vampire spawn with 200 years of customer-service voice.
Known issues
- Work history: Cazador’s unpaid internship (eternal).
- Skillset: stealth, snark, knife literacy.
- Questline lets you break the cycle or ascend and become the HR memo.
Field notes
- Flirts like a lockpick: deft, slightly illegal, often successful.
- Sunlight and sincerity both require sunscreen.
Shadowheart
Cleric of Shar, memory on a timer, moonlight in the patch notes.
Known issues
- Shar by default; may drift Selûne if you demonstrate “basic kindness” and “not being a ghoul.”
- Axis: night, light, and the audacity of choice.
- Specialises in barbed honesty with a ribbon on it.
Field notes
- Talks like a locked door; opens like a library.
- Will save you, then critique your plan in the same breath.
Minthara
Lawful Hostile; treats conquest like brunch reservations.
Known issues
- Job title: Absolute commander; hobbies: war, vengeance, victory.
- Recruitable if you pass the interview (competence, conviction, small war).
Field notes
- Speaks in decrees; naps with a sword like it’s a pet.
- Finds your compassion confusing and, tragically, endearing.
Gale of Waterdeep
Ambition with pastry. Can become a god or make you dinner.
Settings
- Wizard extraordinaire; carrying a volatile Netherese artefact like it’s an accessory.
- Endgame ambitions include: ascend with the Crown, or choose you above godhood and live deliciously mortal.
- Mystra complications. Capital C. We are not taking questions at this time.
House style
- Flirts in footnotes, loves in paragraphs.
- Heroic options: bake, boom, or both.
Party Config: Vibe Check & Camp Duties
-
Gortash
Vibe: hostile LinkedIn.
Love language: signed alliances.
Critical fail on: whimsy. -
Dark Urge
Vibe: homicide, but make it sexy.
Love language: sharp objects.
Critical fail on: white carpets. -
Astarion
Vibe: flirty felony.
Love language: validation, jewellery, your blood in a cup.
Critical fail on: honesty and daylight. -
Shadowheart
Vibe: goth HR.
Love language: bandages and judgement.
Critical fail on: unlabelled relics. -
Minthara
Vibe: conquest chic.
Love language: victory reports.
Critical fail on: small talk. -
Gale
Vibe: dissertation with sparkles.
Love language: grand gestures and good soup.
Critical fail on: sussur bloom.